My Light Bulb is Brighter!

Good Grief! 2 years!?! Really!?! Next on the to do list... be better about my blogging; I am such a slacker :-P Any who, on to my ramblings and babble....

I have started my own at home business back in April of this year, the idea to start the business came to me at a great time in my life. I had been provided a fabulous opportunity at my job the month prior; the opportunity I have been wanting, trying, and pushing myself to get and was excited beyond words when all my hard work paid off and no, I have no plans of stopping where I am at, I have new goals and places to go now. However, it caused some changes financially for me… you take some and you give some… I knew I needed another source of income for a while to help cover the losses.

With the lack of income, I almost was never spending time out of the house or even a little to pamper myself and when I did I felt so guilty for it, because I felt my kids were going without, I wasn’t staying on top of all it, and well I just had a change and more changes were following fast behind it. For those of you who know me… I do not handle change well and for those of you who work with me… yes! I am aware of where I work, lol! Yeah, trying being a fly on my brain.

Second issue, my kids spend already 9 plus hours a day, typically the plus, 5 days a week, at a sitter. We get about 2 hours a day during the week for family time… cramming in dinner, baths, story time, homework, individual time with each kid, staying on top of the house, and a dog with the mentality of a toddler. My babies (5 and 3) are still babies; they need me to be home for them and they need to be in their beds at night. So I was struggling with the concept of getting a “job”, where had to follow yet another schedule and having to be dependable for someone else… that guilt thing kicks in when I have to call and say I just can’t be in today, my kids… yeah, I feel guilty a lot for a lot of things Shutup, don’t judge me, you all have you weird screwy corks (most of you who are reading this, remember, I know you and your weird screwy corks ;-))

What is a mom to do to find something that will not drive her to an insane asylum. What and where can I make a few extra $100s, I can work a schedule around my kids and that they are not missing out on “Mommy and me” time, I am not missing them, and not being diseased with guilt. Something that I can enjoy, have fun, and meet new people… Hahaha! Does not exist right? Wrong!

One fabulous Friday night in March, first time my kids spent the ENTIRE weekend with their D-A-D (no need to call CNN, I already did, they would not put it in their news broadcast. Lame!), my dear Friend, drags me (I say “drags” because I had plans to stay home and prance around naked and watch what “I” wanted to watch on T.V. and listen to my music really loud without interruption because… well, for once I could, LOL!) to a Slumber Party. I have to say best Slumber Party I have ever been too… and the light bulb came on…

I wanted to have that much fun again tomorrow, I learned a ton of stuff and we know me I am a total geek, no matter the subject, I love new information. If I was a Slumber Party consultant, I could work when I wanted and needed to, step away when I needed to, I wouldn’t have to call in sick to anyone, I could go out and have fun, meet new people, and make money instead of spend it (guilty pleasure issue averted, phewww…), extra income for a while and something that was just mine and could possibly benefit long term in all aspects of my life from having to step out of my comfort zones to be able to pull off making my own Slumber Parties Business successful. Could I do this?

I sat on the fence about it for about a month, rounded up my “go-to” girls, took a vote, went against all my fears and BAM! I am a Slumber Party Consultant! I work my schedule around my kiddos for the most part, I have had some extra income, I feel I get out of the house more and yet don’t always spend money to do it, and I feel I am growing confidence in myself I lost many years ago. I missed “Tonya”; some of you know that Tonya and some of you have yet to meet her, no worries, I tend to think if I keep up my hard work at all aspects of my life, you will meet her… some of you will like her and some may not, by that point, I don’t think I will care too much (Yep, there is the cockiness  kicking in.)

I have to thank a few of my friends and a couple family members that have been very supportive of my decision. They have been encouraging, listened to my ideas, put in their input when I have asked for it, listened to my demonstration several times for practice and threw parties for me to be supportive. Surprisingly enough these are people in my life I was a bit worried they would be against my decision… people surprise you every day. Love you all!

Funny thing… this was not where this blog was supposed to go… I was originally on a rant about something else… I like this much better. J

Maybe I am being emo right now because I am sick… I don’t know…

There is something I read once… Some people come in to your life to stay forever and experience your life with you. Some people come and stay for just a period of your life to teach you something then they go. It isn’t intentional… it just is. We all have these forever people (family and friends) and we have the short termers. There is no mention on how to deal with the loss of a relationship. Romantic relationships… some believe to just have another one. This concept however can’t apply to a family member or a friend. I mean seriously… that would just be odd, “well I just find a new cousin I don’t know about or start hanging with a new friend.”  It just isn’t me to have my relationships with people to be like that. I always seem to stumble upon great people and don’t want those great people to have a “times up”. Maybe that’s just the part of me that tends to be all in it or nothing, but once I am all in it, I don’t know how to go back to nothing. I seem to fail at this :-P If some one knows how let me know… lol!

I have been told that some people that once were will come again and stay and some just maybe periodicals. I haven’t really had this happen yet, but I hope that it does. There are a few people that I miss greatly that I so much wish were a part of my life. Some it stings a little to think of and some I just miss the shit out of.

I will forever be grateful for the lessons I have learned from others, the ones that are here today and the ones that aren’t so much. They have taught me so much about me and the kind of person I want to be.

Until next time of the wacky wilde thoughts of me….

New Years Resolutions

Listening to: Jack Johnson "Flake"
Where I be sittin: in bed

Weather: snowing... it sucks

New Year’s Resolutions... We all make that list every year of the things we want to accomplish for the year, there are always the ones that are repeats from the year before or years that we considered as failed. The list always includes improvements we need to make in our lives, whether it be improving are health, money, relationships, or interests.

It is almost depressing if you think about it. We sit down at the beginning of a new year and consider revamping for the New Year by making at list of last year’s failures or things we suck at. It seems we never sit down at the end of the year and consider where we were at the beginning of the year and compare. We all accomplished something... a relationship improved with someone that was needed. You may have not been able to save money but maybe you made it through the year paying bills without stealing from Peter to Paul. Was there something you learned or experienced? A lesson that you will never forget or will forever change your thinking on that’s for the good? Even took up reading to your kids more just because they picked up the interest and asked you to? Made it to work every day or almost?

I found my 2011 New Year’s Resolutions List and it was quite disappointing to see that I did not satisfy a single goal on there. I than began writing my 2012 New Year’s Goals, slightly depressing me even more that I was repeating some of last year’s, but was kind of stoked to make them more successful this year by planning each one out and making those plans more realistic. However, I couldn't get over the fact that I failed yet again for another year. Then I had this epiphany, its seems that I finally took some time to breathe, remember who I was and my positive juices started flowing... I wasn’t as a big of a failure I as I was considering (I know so dramatic, I am a girl, we girls do that) made a list of all the things I did accomplish. The relationships that I obtained that I needed; new relationships and old ones that have grown. The lessons I learned that I may forever spend the rest of my life thinking differently. Money issues are definitely better than last year. I remembered an interest I enjoyed once and have someone that stimulates that interest and assists in bring it out and making it grow over the last few months. This has all happened without my knowledge, without being on a list that I had to make happen.

Now, I don't think we should not make New Year’s Goals, cuz the crazy perfectionist in me can't help but make that list. However, maybe before we write out the new goals for the year, we need to spend some time really considering what was accomplished in our lives for the past year. Write it out, read it, see how much of the paper it fills before we really consider filling a new paper with new goals. Goals are good to have they keep us on track with life and help motivate us, but let's not forget the changes that have changed for the good, these are the successes we had. These are the real goals that we probably had in the first place but thought they were illogical to have as goals.

What were your accomplishments last year?

I don't know if there is much sense in my ramblings... do what you will with it. :)